7 Ways to Make Your Sobriety Stick - Janet Gourand at TribeSober

When we make that life-changing decision to stop drinking we usually feel a mix of emotions. We feel anxious that we may not succeed but in spite of this we feel excited as we know it’s the right thing to do for our health and our happiness.  It’s important to realise that recovery is never linear, in fact it usually looks something like this:

Understanding a bit about neuroscience will help us to stay on track.  Our brain likes to have a project. Our ancestors had an ongoing project which was to go hunting and feed themselves. Modern life is more complex and if we are hungry we can just open the fridge but human beings were not designed to sit around doing nothing, that will never make us happy.  What will make us happy is having a project. Having a project will trigger our happy brain chemicals and keep us energetic and focussed. When we decide to stop drinking we feel excited and motivated.  However after a couple of months our subconscious mind will register that the “sobriety project” is complete (even though those of us who are sober know that it takes at least a year to feel secure in our sobriety). So that’s why we can end up feeling low a couple of months into sobriety. Our brain has nothing to get excited about and we start wondering if we’ve done the right thing. If it was a “rock bottom” event that motivated our decision then the shame of that event is fading.

We may have got through the first couple of months on willpower alone but willpower is a finite resource and will run out. To sustain your sobriety you need to change your mindset about alcohol. You need to “change your thinking about drinking”

Change your thinking — about drinking

Otherwise our subconscious will start reminiscing about the good times and asking questions like: Was I really that bad? Perhaps I could have just one glass now and then?

This is the danger time and this is why many people spend years jumping on and off the wagon — which simply means they are doing the hard bit, over and over again and they never stay sober long enough to experience the benefits!

So what to do?

You need a plan, your brain needs a project. Buy a lovely notebook for your project. Give it a fun name — “Project One Year Sober” for example. Remind yourself WHY you are doing this — write your WHY list on the first page of your notebook and read it every single day. Track your journey by writing up your journal each day. As you read back you will see it’s getting easier. Check out these 7 suggestions and create your own personal toolkit to keep your project on track Your brain will release happy chemicals every time you achieve something so divide your project into manageable chunks

Re-configure your life! Is your routine the same as when you were drinking? If it is then shake things up a bit, otherwise you’ll always feel something is missing. It’s time to rewire those pathways!

Manage your emotions. “Get comfortable with being uncomfortable”, process them by writing about them in your journal instead of numbing them away with alcohol.

Keep perspective. Keep your eye on the big picture. If you have a slip up it’s not a reason to abandon the whole project. Get a free annual tracker from janet@tribesober.com and watch those sober stretches get longer.

Discover your natural highs. You should have a bit more time and money now you’ve stopped drinking. Use it to discover what gives you a natural high. Take a course, be a volunteer, travel or do something creative.

Have your go-to drinks. There is a huge choice of delicious alcohol free drinks available these days. Find a supplier, get them to deliver you a box of AF drinks each month. Try different ones, score them in your journal until you end up with some firm favourites.

Keep moving! Get outside and do at least an hour of exercise every single day. Plan a fitness program in your journal and observe your progress as the weeks go by.

Join Tribe Sober. It’s relatively easy to white knuckle it through the first couple of months on your own but to keep going you need a community. You need people who understand you and will encourage you to keep going. People who are further along in this journey and can reassure you that it really is worth it. As a Tribe Sober member you can also attend a workshop to give you some new tools and increase your motivation.